Living in the Moment

Something I've never been too good at is living in the moment. I always dream bigger than today and look forward to the future. I have extremely vivid memories of being a child, sitting down with my sister, and planning out in detail what our futures were going to be like. We were going to live together and she was going to have a dog and I was going to have a bunny. Okay, so maybe I got the dog...but there was one fulfilled premonition!

Eric and Marnie. We walked forever on Sunday in the hopes she'd be tired for our early Mother's Day. 

Even now I'm having a hard time living for today. I know that this is not a positive thing and it's something I'm working on. I need to stop and enjoy the small things. But for me, the small things make me think of bigger things and all of a sudden I'm thinking larger and into future plans. Gosh, I'm doing it even now!

We've been counting down until the last day of school. And although the last day and week are not here yet, I already have a small "note" in my iphone about changes I want to make for next year.

I know that reflection isn't a bad thing. I live to improve and make my own life better. But presence. Yeah, I need to work on that.

It's been one of those weeks in education where I don't feel like I have taught my students a thing. I feel that their little minds are already checked out for the summer and I'm left scrambling to pick up the pieces and keep them from tearing each other apart before the end of the school year. It's hard, but I know it could be so much worse.

Is it just me or did anyone else love filling mailboxes for the teacher? Even now I get a silent thrill about getting to do it, daily.

For the moment, or at least this weekend, my goal is to stay present in each day. I'm headed up to Hayward with Eric and a few others. I'm excited for beer, stars, and photos I'll be taking. I'm also excited for Marnie to run free without the fear of a car hitting her. It's going to be a good weekend. 

I have been so bad at doing anything creative since we've gotten Marnie. "Forced" myself to make this the other night. Felt so good afterwards. 

Have a beautiful weekend. It's going to be a long--and present--one for me.